My Story

Background

From the age of 11 until I was 17, I was heavily involved in Boy Scouting. I faithfully attended just about every meeting and camping trip, rose to leadership positions at both the troop and district levels, and was selected for membership in the Order of the Arrow. Most relevantly, I attained the rank of Life Scout, one step below the prestigious Eagle, and was one merit badge and one project away from reaching that elite level, which was a cherished goal of mine.

All of that came to an end in late 1986, when I left Scouting permanently. It was by choice, although not much of one. You see, by the time I quit I had been molested by my Scoutmaster for approximately four years, and could no longer take the mental and physical abuse. I was being sexually assaulted on a regular basis at the troop’s meeting place, as well as on overnight camping trips. I was aware that other boys had been targeted for abuse as well, although I believed at the time that mine was the only case that had progressed as far as it did.

I was wrong.

When I left, I was convinced that somehow I was the one at fault, and that if I separated myself from Scouting the problem would hopefully just go away and fix itself. Wishful thinking, to be sure, but I’ve come to learn it’s a solution that is all too commonly reached among survivors of such abuse.

A few short months later, the Scoutmaster was arrested for abusing other and even younger boys in the troop. Now, to make things even worse for me, I had the guilt of knowing that had I spoken out at the time of my abuse, others may have been spared the ordeal that I was subjected to. I realize now that I pretty much had no way of coping with what was happening to me and no inkling of how to ask someone for the proper help, and that I was fortunate to escape from the situation without even further damage to myself. Still, that sort of thinking is a heavy burden for anyone to bear, much less a seventeen-year-old kid.

During the course of the investigation, I was brought to the local police station and interrogated coldly and harshly by detectives who seemingly gave not a fig about the fact that they were dealing with a terrified and confused young man who happened to be a victim as well as a witness. I’m sure that the way I was treated by those officers has been a major contributor to my mistrust and skepticism of all authority, as well as my refusing to swallow the idea that someone in officialdom always does the right thing, or cares about the well-being of those they are sworn to protect.

I was later informed by the prosecution that I would have to testify at the trial. I understandably was quite reluctant to do so. After all, what teenage boy in his right mind would? I was told that I would be dragged to the witness stand if necessary, which was yet another blow to my trust and respect of authority figures, as no one in charge of the investigation or prosecution ever asked me if any assistance or help was needed or wanted. The people in charge only seemed to care about gaining a conviction, and seemingly had no problem feeding us victims into a metaphorical meat grinder in order to obtain it.

Fortunately for me, no trial was necessary. The Scoutmaster, perhaps convinced by his attorney that forcing several boys onto a witness stand in public in order to graphically describe his crimes against them was a certain losing strategy, decided to plead guilty and throw himself on the mercy of the court.

He didn’t get any. The judge, a former Scout himself, sentenced him to fifteen years in prison. I understand that he “maxed out” his time by not completing his assigned prison rehab programs or expressing any remorse or apology for his crimes, behaving like the true sociopath that he is.

Here is one of the contemporaneous news articles describing his plea and sentencing:

All during this time, I never received so much as one phone call or visit offering help from anyone connected with Scouting, from the troop level, where I had been so active, to the district level, where I had made so many friends and forged such close working partnerships, all the way to the national level.

Not one offer.

Ever.

Lots of publicity has been given since then to meaningless platitudes about reforming policies and procedures to prevent such a thing from happening in the future, but if I was any example, the Scout organization completely wrote off the victims of a nightmare that had already taken place on their watch. I was completely on my own, with predictable results. I passed through 1987 in the midst of an unrecognized and untreated complete depressive state, which resulted in my almost not graduating high school, cost me many failed relationships among family and friends, and affected me financially, as I could not keep a job for any length of time due to such post-traumatic stress symptoms such as insomnia, depression, irritability and the inability to interact well with others.

Fortunately, I was able to singlehandedly correct some of the worst symptoms to the point where I was again a functioning member of society, although at times just barely.

Today

Between lots of therapy and the passage of time, I have managed to come to a sort of uneasy equilibrium, to where I only occasionally get depressed or angry about the crimes that were committed against me. As part of my healing process, I decided to make phone calls to the National Capital Area Council office in Maryland as well as the national headquarters in Texas requesting that I be allowed to complete my Eagle rank, as I had been forced to quit their organization due to the criminal actions of one of its leaders. I was told that once a person turned 18, a hard cutoff had been reached, and that there was no way possible to validate or earn the award after that date. I reluctantly decided that course of action was closed to me, and resigned myself to forever playing the “what if” game.

A few months ago, however, I read a story in the media about a middle-aged man (coincidentally in Baltimore, Maryland) who had just received his Eagle Scout award, despite having not turned in any of his completed paperwork before the magical age of 18. The BSA patted itself on the back publicly about how nice it was that a problem that had happened decades ago had just been fixed nice and neat-like.

Now, wait just one minute. I had been specifically told that such a thing wasn’t possible.

I called the national office once again and spoke to a person named Bill Steele, who apparently is the head of the National Eagle Scout Association. He informed me that the man’s attaining of Eagle Scout some three decades after his 18th birthday was a “special situation”, due to “unique circumstances”. I argued that those descriptions perfectly fit my case perfectly as well. Steele then snippily told me that there were thousands of Scouts in World War II who were drafted by the government to fight, and who were subsequently denied the chance to attain Eagle Scout. I responded that the Boy Scouts weren’t responsible for that conflict, but they were responsible for a sexual predator molesting me, and for their subsequent inaction and lack of any assistance for his victims. Mr. Steele declined to talk to me further and abruptly ended the conversation.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Here was a national organization that is always spouting off about their commitment to member safety, yet they don’t lift so much as a finger to help those who had already been victims of their prior negligence and inaction.

To that end, I wrote the following letter to Bob Mazzuca, the current chief executive of the organization:

Bob Mazzuca, Chief Executive
Boy Scouts of America
1325 Walnut Hill Lane
P.O. Box 152079
Irving, TX 75015-2079

November 3, 2008

Mr. Mazzuca:

My name is Douglas Hester. I am a 39-year-old man and former Life Scout who was one merit badge and one project away from attaining Eagle Scout in 1987. I was very involved with the Scouts at the time, holding several Patuxent District-level volunteer positions, and was an active member of the Order of the Arrow. I’m sure all of this can be verified by checking with National Capital Area Council records.

I was unable to finish my very successful career with the Boy Scouts, as I was forced to quit because my Scoutmaster was molesting me, along with several other boys in my troop, although I had no knowledge of the others at the time. He was subsequently arrested, convicted and sentenced to 15 years in prison. (Please see the attached newspaper article for proof.)

This incident had a devastating impact on me, resulting in my almost not graduating high school, causing very strained relationships with my family and plunging me into a deep depression of several years’ duration. I am still not fully recovered, and have to deal on a daily basis with being a survivor of sexual abuse, with all of the mental baggage that entails. Trust me when I tell you that it’s quite a bit.

After the Scoutmaster was arrested, neither the National Capital Area Council nor the national Boy Scout office made any attempt whatsoever to provide counseling or legal help (or anything else, for that matter) to the victims in the case. We were basically ignored and forgotten about, and everyone seemed to hope that we would just go away, so we pretty much did.

I recently read in the media about the middle-aged man who was allowed to attain his Eagle rank after some decades, because he had neglected to submit the required paperwork. I subsequently contacted the National Capital Area Council office, who referred me to your national office, which put me in touch with Bill Steele of NESA. Mr. Steele was very unhelpful and insensitive to the simple request that my case be considered as well. His main reason for denying me any assistance was (paraphrased) “Well, Boy Scouts who got drafted in World War II didn’t get to complete their Eagle requirements”.

That’s very true, I admit. There’s one important difference, though – The Boy Scouts organization had nothing to do with the world war. It was responsible, however, for allowing a sexual predator to victimize myself and other boys on multiple occasions over a long period of time. Therefore, I submit that the organization owes something to people who didn’t finish their requirements due to crimes committed by a member of their organization.

To that end, I formally request that I be allowed to finish my requirements and attain the rank of Eagle Scout, as partial recompense for the decades of suffering that I have been through because of this incident. If I am refused, I reserve the right to pursue any and all means to make my request public, including but not limited to: contacting the national and local media, writing about my situation on my personal blog, demonstrating in front of your headquarters building and considering legal action against your organization requesting monetary damages for the harm done to me by one of your Scoutmasters.

I humbly await your reply.

Respectfully,

(signed) Douglas Hester

I was not given the courtesy of a response, despite repeated follow-up telephone messages left with Mr. Mazzuca’s office staff, as well as with the public relations department.

(By the way, contacting Mr. Mazzuca was something of an ordeal. It seems that they must be quite used to hiding from former victims such as me, because their contact addresses and phone numbers are nowhere to be found on their official website. Go look for yourself. I challenge anyone to browse through it and come up with the information, including the organizational structure that identifies Mr. Mazzuca as the person in charge.)

Oh, and they can’t use the excuse that my letter was somehow lost in transit. I sent it by certified mail:

The Future

Because I have been treated so rudely and dismissively by the Boy Scout organization yet again, I have decided to take further action. I am now planning to demonstrate in person in front of their headquarters in Irving, Texas on Tuesday, December 9, 2008. I have already contacted the national media as well as the local news outlets in the Dallas area, and have outlined exactly what my grievances are against Mr. Mazzuca and the rest of the Boy Scout organization. It is my hope that my fight for recognition and redress will be covered by some of them.

Why am I going public with this? Three main reasons:

1. I no longer feel overwhelming shame or personal embarrassment about disclosing the circumstances of what has happened to me, as I have done nothing wrong and have nothing to hide;

2. The BSA’s heartless lack of responsibility and total absence of scruples has angered me, and

3. The incredibly brave telling of their own sexual abuse histories by such people as wide receiver Laveranues Coles of the New York Jets has inspired me to do what I can to help fight further such acts and their cover-ups, as well as seek redress for victims like myself who are already permanently scarred.

To that end, I would consider it a personal favor if the regular readers here would support my efforts by calling Mr. Mazzuca at 972-580-2000 and expressing disappointment with the way that victims of sexual abuse by leaders in his organization have been treated both in the past and quite recently, and urging him to make even a token attempt at offering these permanently damaged people a way to regain at least a small part of what was stolen from them, in an effort to make their lives a little easier and more complete.

Additionally, I would very much appreciate it if people would publicize my quest through word of mouth, email, blog posts or any other means available to them. Furthermore, if anyone has direct knowledge of any other victims of sexual abuse at the hands of the Boy Scouts, please direct them to me, and reassure them that I will treat their personal information with the utmost confidentiality.

Wretched scum

A devastating indictment of how a bunch of supposedly upstanding, professional educational leaders ignored years of credible accusations of child sexual abuse being committed by one of their own, all to protect their precious football empire:

"Penn State's most powerful leaders showed 'total and consistent disregard' for victims of child sex abuse and failed to protect children, according to the findings of a long-awaited internal review over how the university handled a scandal involving its former defensive coordinator."

Graham Spanier, Gary Schultz and Tim Curley should be sharing a 4-man cell with Jerry Sandusky right about now.  They deserve to keep each other's vile company for years to come.

If Penn State had a smidgen of shame and remorse they would cancel the entire football season for at least one year to at least attempt to take responsibility for the horrors committed by their former leadership.  But no, the current powers-that-be instead replace the departed Joe Paterno (whose death sadly puts him out of the reach of justice as well) with another entrenched program insider.  The NCAA should therefore step in and immediately suspend the team from intercollegiate competition until further notice.  After all, if this isn't a textbook case of "loss of institutional control" then we don't know what is.

Good to know

A legislator in my birth state of Maryland, where the majority of the sexual abuse committed against me took place, is fighting to enact a change in state law that will extend the statute of limitations for suing one's abuser to when the victim reaches age 50.

"Since that increase, victims and mental-health professionals have told [State Senator Delores G.] Kelley that 25 is still too young because abuse victims need more time to understand and confront the source of their chronic depression, problems with intimacy, alcoholism and inability to hold down a job, she said."

I agree with this assessment wholeheartedly. It's been only quite recently, at age 39, that I have been able to begin to deal effectively with the lingering aftereffects of my abuse, to the chagrin of the national office of the Boy Scouts of America.

Naturally, groups such as the Catholic Church are vehemently against this proposed change:

"The proposed 25-year increase to the limitations period has drawn opposition from Catholic groups, who voiced concern that the additional time to sue could leave the church potentially facing litigation for years to come against allegations that are decades old and, thus, not easily defended against."

Tough. If the Catholic Church would have dealt with the issues promptly and correctly when they occurred, rather than simply transferring the pedophile priests to other parishes to prey on fresh kids, they wouldn't be in the legal and financial mess they find themselves in today.

Should this legislation be approved and signed into law, my lawsuits against both my abuser and the National Capital Area Council of the Boy Scouts of America will be filed as soon as possible, in order to publicly force them to accept responsibility for their actions (and inactions, when it comes to both the Patuxent District and the National Capital Area Council's reprehensible ignoring of mine and other boys' plights after my abuser was arrested).

This doesn't surprise me

Several local Boy Scout councils have been caught clear-cutting trees in forested areas under their control, in many cases illegally and most definitely in clear violation of their own stated philosophies and policies towards nature, as the article points out:

"But for a high-profile organization such as the Boy Scouts, which touts itself as pro-environment, conducting high-impact, commercial timber harvests that at times violate regulation, or simply push the limits of ecological best practices, smacks of hypocrisy, they say." (Emphasis mine)

Now where have I heard the Boy Scouts been called hypocrites elsewhere, albeit about other aspects of their organizational behavior? Oh, that's right, right here on this blog, about their willful ignorance of their own stated sexual abuse avoidance policies, as well as their shameful lack of help for victims of such abuse.

Back to the subject at hand. We're not talking about managed harvesting, which is quite good for forests when wisely and carefully done. This is the equivalent of strip-mining the land, even after they made explicit promises never to do so in specific areas:

"The old woman who donated that property to the Scouts had entered into an agreement with the state to protect it from logging," said Keene, senior forester for the Institute for Wildlife Protection."

Why are the councils engaging in such activities? Money seems to be the answer, as usual, with making up for the lack of donations due to their bans on gays and atheists given as the chief reason in the article, along with the rich salaries earned by the Scouting leadership for their excellent stewardship of their natural resources and outstanding protection of the boys under their supervision (cough, cough):

"Local and regional executives can earn annual compensation of $100,000 to $300,000 per year. At the national level, Scouting executives make even more."

But they're too poor to help out local councils with dedicated funds for counseling and legal fees for the victims of predatory Scout leaders. Nope, they're on their own on that one.

I would be remiss if I didn't also bring up the likely additional factor of multi-million dollar judgments and settlements of sexual abuse cases also bringing financial pressure, although I'm positive the Scouts would never admit to such a reason.

We know better, of course. This article originated out of Seattle, and I have knowledge of eight currently pending sexual abuse cases in that area alone. That's gotta hurt the ol' pocketbook just in legal fees, to say nothing of the eventual damages sure to be awarded.

It seems that just like with the Catholic Church, financial woes partly resulting from the payment of money to settle sex-abuse cases is starting to eat the Scouts up from the inside out. Unfortunately, if the leadership doesn't soon wake up and realize their mistakes, they're not going to have an organization left, not to mention those cushy salaries.

If they don't care enough about the boys' safety to prioritize a national protocol for helping victims of abuse, and they don't seem to care a fig about the environment, what's left to make the Scouts worth joining?

Sellouts

The Boy Scouts, panicking at their ever-dwindling numbers, apparently are willing to chuck their own background check procedures over the side in order to attract more Hispanic Scouts:

"We go in a uniform that looks like the Border Patrol," said Paul Moore, head of the Scouts' Los Angeles Area Council. "Then we ask (adult volunteers) to fill out complex applications that ask for their Social Security numbers. I think we've found some good ways in L.A. to deal with some of these things, but we have to do a better job of getting parents to see Scouting as something that aligns with their hopes and dreams for their kids." (Emphasis mine)

Those "complex" applications (perplexing because they're in English, maybe?) that ask for SSN's are required for a very specific reason - to conduct background checks on prospective Scout leaders, so that previously convicted sex offenders aren't allowed to join troops. The fact that Mr. Moore is complaining about the fact that prospective leaders have to fill them out is quite disheartening, to say the least, and flies directly in the face of statements made to me personally regarding ensuring Scout safety.

Also, what's with the cheap Border Patrol crack? Both uniforms are shades of brown, that's about it. That fact shouldn't be a problem, unless the BSA is willing to go on record as sanctioning law-breaking and wishes to specifically attract illegal immigrants. There goes "obedient" in the Scout Oath, I suppose. The Border Patrol is an honorable agency attempting to do an impossible job with no support from the Federal government. It's not some sort of evil group that scares law-abiding people away.

I guess diversity and tolerance of illegal immigration, along with that desperate attempt to gain numbers, trumps any policy of ensuring the safety of the boys in the troops.

This is yet another eye-opening story that shows that the Boy Scouts aren't serious about following their own system of checks and balances. Enroll your child at your risk.

A response to a comment

An anonymous person left a comment that I feel deserves a response, so I will do so publicly (my comments in bold):

Well Doug, there are a few things you are contradicting yourself with.....a long time fan of the Northern Muckraker

Thanks for the kind words about my main project.

I don't understand your agenda. What do you want to happen?

1. To get your Eagle Scout Badge?

I think that's a pretty small thing to ask for, given what I have been through, and especially given the fact, reported to me by email as well as numerous commenters to this blog, that the Eagle requirements have been modified and waived on a significant number of occasions, for much less compelling reasons, in my opinion.

I worked damn hard for that award, and was denied it just when it was in reach through no fault of my own. Honestly, it's the least they could do, and it wouldn't cost them a dime. Actually, the PR value alone would be worth millions to them.

2. To embarrass an organization?

If that's what it takes to get redress for past wrongs and to ensure that no other boy has to go through a similar ordeal, sure. They chose not to listen when I tried going through normal, private channels, so they brought this website upon themselves.

3. Take on your aggression on someone or an organization who had nothing to do with your situation?

The organization has plenty to do with my situation, as more than twenty years after my incident there still appears to be no institutional policies for dealing with such abuse other than to keep quiet and hope the boys go away and don't sue. Oddly, the BSA doesn't seem to understand that providing assistance, both legal and emotional, would undoubtedly go a long way towards preventing the onslaught of abuse cases that they're currently dealing with. (I've talked to one attorney who knows of at least 8 pending cases in the Northwest alone. Maybe we're going to have to begin publicizing them here, in order to show the magnitude of the problem.)

1. If that was your intention why when you start to not get your way you turn the conversation to what they (the Boy Scouts) did wrong? Did they know about the molestation? Did they transfer the scoutmaster? Did they cover up, or did they hand over the accused to the proper authorities? And why do you hold a whole religion responsible for one persons actions? Would a background check if it had come out clean prevented your situation?

I'm not sure what you're asking here, but I'll do my best to answer. The Scouts did not "hand him over to the authorities" he was caught red-handed by a parent of one of the abused kids. I don't hold them responsible for the actions of the Scoutmaser. I do hold them responsible for their actions in the wake of the incident, which was to not do a darn thing for anyone and hope that it would all soon blow over.

As to the comparison to the Catholic Church, I'm certainly not "holding a religion responsible for one person's actions". I was comparing the similarity of the two organizations' responses to the same type of situation, and attempted to point out how denial at the highest levels is hurting both groups. I merely found it telling and ironic that a high-ranking official would so emphatically deny such obvious, proven criminal actions on the part of senior officials in his own church, because it shows that he also has the same blind spot when it comes to his employer.

A background check would have come back clean on the perpetrator and would not have prevented the crimes from taking place. As I said above, however, and as I pointed out to them at their headquarters, I don't blame the organization for what happened to me, but I do blame them for their lack of response in my and thousands of other cases.

2. When the organization had no chance in understanding the magnitude of your situation and after decades you return and ask for a full on public apology when you waited so long to bring it to their attention? not saying that time resolves a situation but why now? what has happened in your life when you need to redirect your aggression from the responsible party to the parent organizations? How about the police department? how about your parents? how about your siblings? where is the end point?

I didn't ask for an apology, only the chance to earn what had been denied me, and subsequently to be apprised of how the organization's policies have changed to help future victims of sexual abuse. The end point? That is when the BSA decides to take full responsibility for their policies, both on their hypocritical iron-clad "criteria" for awards as well as for their track record of not helping sexual abuse victims.

3. Furthermore you have people responding to your postings saying they will advise people they know not to let their kids into scouting....OK so now what happened to you is going to prevent other children from experiencing a great childhood of camping trips etc.

My intent is not to deny children camping trips or other Scouting-type experiences. They're fine character-builders and fun activities. This particular organization, however, has shown on numerous occasions that they can't or won't clean up the messes that leaders of their groups have made. Until they begin to do so, it's fair to warn people about just what possibly type of predatory environment they're about to send their son to, and to inform them of the (lack of a) response and help they'll be getting from the national organization should something go wrong.

You seem like a troubled person that cannot make a rational decision about how to deal with your past. why don't you find a way past your situation instead of making yourself at home in your misery? I truly wish you all the best but until you make more sense or communicate and act with a sole purpose I will not understand your plight!

You're right, it's extremely hard to make rational decisions about this, given the level of emotion that it raises in me. I can only try as hard as I can to do what I feel is the right thing, and let the chips fall where they may. To date, the overwhelming majority of responses to my campaign have been positive, with people calling and emailing me to "keep up the pressure". That tells me that I'm doing something right at least, and that there are thousands of ex-Scouts like me who were in like circumstances that are angry at the BSA and want them to change their ways immediately. Therefore, I soldier on.

As always, your mileage may vary, and all points of view are welcome here. Just keep it civil.

Not much to report, oddly enough

I'm still waiting for the official response to my formal request, made in person, that I be able to earn my Eagle Scout award.

I'm also still waiting to hear the details of the program that provides counseling and legal help to victims of pedophile Scout leaders.

If I don't hear something on either issue by next week, I will have to agitate further.